the man from u.n.c.l.e

As in: the guy who cried Uncle, and said "sod this".

A few days back, that was me. Despite my constantly being positive (not easy when you're actually as negative, full of demons and self loathing as I am), poker on this trip has well and truly blown, and not in a good way. Following the Wynn main, and the 4 bet shove exit to 77, I decided to throw in the towel for this outing and just call it a day. I've had the odd off table chat with a couple of the  (pretty small) number of people whose opinion on poker I respect, and whilst in general they concur that event wise I haven't really done a lot wrong (aside from not win of course), it is interesting to see their perspective on the game in general as opposed to my own.

It's no secret that in recent years poker has changed. Back in the day if there was a preflop reraise, it was Aces, as simple as that. Nowadays, the scabby min-raise game I'm so not a fan of is very much the norm. Everyone's doing it, and I missed the meeting where it was decided that this is more skilful than it's predecessor. There's no point me getting up on the mic and telling the masses that playing live like it's online click back poker is really horrible. No-one's going to listen or care, so you live with it and adapt, or you have a hissy fit and stop playing. I do think that my more aggressive stance early on in events was a better shout than just trying to get it in good 100% of the time. I might still not be in the 5 bet A 10 offsuit shove in level one brigade just yet, but that's likely not a bad thing. It was a bad trip, and I took my medicine, have gone off to lick my wounds, and will regroup for the next assault, hopefully the WSOP. Little more to say on it. Everyone with shares will get an email breaking down the numbers as per usual.

The remainder of my time here has mainly been just sorting out my own head a bit. I went on a cooking spree for friends, new and old, and delivered something in the region of 15 meals to people, mostly in the quest to get them to find out what a decent curry actually tastes like. I love America, but the Indian food here is awful, so I cook it myself or go without. Generally the feedback was good, and with spicy/non/spicy/extra hot/veggie/chicken options all on the go, it was a bit of a balancing act to keep everyone happy, but we did our best. In a world where I am often jaded about, well, everything really, sometimes it's just nice to do something nice for people for no reason than to just be nice. More people should try it.

Whether it's for therapy, physical and/or mental, I have found myself going slightly crazy at the gym, often doing up to 2.5 hours of hot yoga every day. I'm not going to get into tree hugger territory here, I'll just say a few things. I have a bit of trouble getting into the spiritual side of it, mainly because I'm a huge ball of issues, and whilst the wonderful instructors in their own ways will tell you to love yourself, as many of you will know, for someone who normally exemplifies the polar opposite of this ideal, it's a tricky concept to embrace for me. Still, I do my best. I've met some new, fun, and interesting people. Some of the instructors I think are sadists, but they do it with such a nice smile it's almost forgiveable. Anyone reading this thinking yoga is something only dumpy overweight middle aged mums do in a church hall in Beckenham, has likely never been to a class like these. Years ago I did the Yoga X section of the P90X workout, and thought I had never ached and sweated so much on one single spot on the floor in my entire life. The classes at the gym I visit here are even harder. This trip, I actually thought in the time I was stretching, sweating, and hurting in my half pigeon that I was doing pretty good at this Yoga lark for a guy in his late 40's. Years ago (a lot of years) I used to do Tae Kwon Do and a few other martial arts, so I was always reasonably flexible and able to stretch out a bit. A few days back I did a class that gave me a complete reality check, as I think virtually everyone else in it must have been either a dancer, an athlete, or a Cirque du Soleil acrobat. Full splits? No problem. Perfect poses held for 3-5 minutes. Easy. Meanwhile, our hero was in the middle of all this, sweating like David Beckham at a MENSA exam, and trying not to fall arse over tit over in dancer's pose. It showed me just how good I actually am not, compared to some of these people. After doing roughly 20+ hours a yoga week, I feel a bit like I've been rolled up in a mattress and then had the shit kicked out of me. A part of me I think likes putting myself through all the pain and suffering. Maybe it's some kind of penance. I do know that 75% of the poker world (it used to be in the high 90's) do precious little to ever look after themselves, so I feel that for me this has to be a good thing regardless, even if the tournament wins haven't come thick and fast. There is a good vibe at the gym, people in general are friendly, positive, keen to help, and have a good air about them, pretty much the polar opposite of what you mostly see in poker rooms. Joining a gym this time was a good move. I would say for me the physical side and the positivity of the staff and other students this trip has been pretty addictive, and I will certainly try to explore doing more of the same in the UK, though I don't think it will quite compare.

The final week here for me is mainly tying up loose ends. Hopefully I get to see friends I have missed out on seeing much of thus far on the trip. I have a few errands to run whilst still here, and then basically just pack up my crap and get ready for the journey back to the UK, where I will have a bit of thinking to do about the road that lies ahead.